Richard Dedor: Finding Focus » Column

A Rare Breed

Richard — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:19:49 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

Four days ago we said good-bye. And thank-you. It happens a lot to me when I say farewell to my friends. I am very thankful for them. Of this I am very public about. But it wasn’t my friends this past weekend. It was an athlete.

Rarely in sports do we get to do the same thing we get to with our closest friends. I can count on two hands the athletes that I said farewell and thank-you to – at the same time. It would take a whole stadium packed full of painted-faced crazed fans to count how many times I’ve only said “good riddance.”

There was the man whole grew up in front of America and the world’s watchful, and quite often, scornful gaze. He won, then lost. He won, then lost more. He fell off the face of the earth. He reclaimed his glory and became one of the game’s best ambassadors and philanthropists.

I recall an athlete who just played because he loved it. He played for one team his whole career. He won three championships and was a complete gentleman on and off the ice. His career ended possibly prematurely with an injury, but he left with grace and compassion.

One of his competitors did the same. He also played for one franchise his whole life. He was captain for much of his career and won two championships. He didn’t fight, he just played with a quite poise, worked in his community, and was a man of his word.

An athlete who isn’t retired, but will probably be the next person who makes my list recently signed a new and quite massive contract with his hometown team. He could have taken ever larger paychecks in the glitz of New York, but he stayed true to his roots. He plays the game with passion and kindness in an unforgiving position. And he’s good, but doesn’t act like it.

Andre Agassi. Steve Yzerman. Joe Sakic. Joe Mauer. Do those names ring a bell? Those are the first four names that come to mind when thinking of athletes I’ve said good-bye and thank you too.

Another one was just added to this list, but has been on his way there for nearly a decade. He won his sports grandest prize seven times. Seven straight times. That is LA Laker or Chicago Bulls dominance. But think about that. For seven years this person was the best of his sport.

Even better, he did it with a constant, and still never-ending barrage of questions about doping. For the last 21 days of his career, it seemed each day was filled with another accusation from a former teammate who is swearing to anyone still listening that this man doped. And we have all been duped. I don’t buy it.

First of all, this man has put hundreds of thousands if not millions of his own money to finding a cure for cancer. He’s done that for nearly a decade.

Secondly, he has never, not once in his life failed a drug test or even received a false positive. Hell, even I’ve had false positives in my blood tests!

I never forget an advertisement after his third or fourth title (yes, I know it is an ad!), but it says everything that needs to be said. People ask me what I’m on. I tell them I’m on my bike six hours a day busting my ass. Yeah, that’s right.

One final item must be pointed out that is often forgotten. I read this person’s first book and in it he wrote about when he was younger and just getting started in his sport. He was given a full and comprehensive physical. They tested and prodded everything and one thing they found stands out above all the rest. He had a lung capacity high than most humans, as well as an ability to keep oxygen in his muscles longer (or something to that effect). He was destined for this.

He made us proud. He made us care. He paid tribute to where he came from and where he had been. He’s still fighting for Cancer. He uses his celebrity for good – and not reality television shows.

So, as his career came to an end this past weekend, I said a silent, and now very public good-bye and thank-you.

Good-bye Lance Armstrong.

Thank-you Lance Armstrong.

Listen

Richard — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:26:59 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

Over Christmas last year I was staying at my best friend’s house with he and his family. It is always fun to be at their house as they always have something going on. They are playing games, eating, having wine or watching movies. I’ve spent many-a-late nights there watching movies.

Last Christmas we were hanging out in the middle of the day and we caught the end of August Rush, a great movie from what I saw. Today while relaxing, I caught the full-feature of August Rush. And I must say, it is a well made movie. I could listen to “August” play that guitar all day long. If only I’d been that talented when I picked up the guitar for the first time. For your information, it was a disaster.

But the movie itself had a great message. Yeah, it was about music and love and passions, but the line at the beginning and the end of the film has sat with me: “The music is all around us, all you have to do is listen.”

I think it is the same with any art. Artists get lost in their craft. Whether it is music, painting, writing, wood working; it is home, no matter what it is.

When I’m down or lost, confused or excited, I can always turn to my words. I have kept a journal off and on since 1993 and for the last three years, I’ve kept a public one here. I still do keep a private one. Sometimes I write a poem. Sometimes I just write. I write about my day, my fears, my triumphs and my unlimited stories of failures. It is m home. I speak and I write.

There was a day where the only place in the world I felt at home was a tennis court, but then I got hurt. I lost my passion for it. I will soon be returning, which I couldn’t be more excited about it. Your passions always find you. They never leave. I’m happy to be going to back to tennis. Even with my back injury, my words will never leave me. It is my home. All you have to do … is listen.

No related posts.

Good Things are Coming

Richard — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:44:55 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

As I worked last week, my mind kept thinking about what I wanted to write for this column. There were so many options from the last week. Just look at the sports world. The US Soccer team made not one, but two dramatic comebacks in a matter of five days. Yes, I was sad to see them lose on Saturday, but in my opinion, they played better this time around than in 2006. I could easily write about the day when I lost more work time to television than ever before. Yeah, I am talking about Wednesday.

I was getting caught up on e-mail, listening to Radio Wimbledon (since I don’t have a television in my office) and I happened to glance at the scoreboard. John Isner and a guy I’d never heard of, Nicolas Mahut were around (I say around because who knows anymore after the tennis we saw between the two) 14-14. I knew I wanted to see the end, because any match that reaches that level deserves a sportsman’s support.

We got a bunch of people into our conference room to watch. The match kept going back and forth. Then I took control of the remote because I knew the US Soccer team was nearing the end of their game versus Algeria; and I knew we were down. Every chance I got, I went to soccer – then back to tennis – soccer – tennis.

But the match was in a tight spot… and the soccer game was going into extra time. Then Brad Gilbert, the tennis commentator, who was obviously watching the soccer instead of the match right in front of him screamed, “g … gggooooooaaaaalllllll!” We quickly changed over to the soccer game to see the celebration. There was immense pride in our team.

Then we went back to tennis. Then back to our office. Then we ordered pizza. Then back to our offices. Then back to the tennis. Then it was called at 59-59 in the fifth set. Of course, the rest is history, 70-68 in the fifth set. 11 hours and five minutes. But I feel I must comment on soccer.

I remember watching the US Women win the Cup in 1999. It was awesome and amazing! And I remember watching the men back in 2006. A co-worker and I talked soccer all the time during that month. She was a bigger fan than I, but I am a Patriot. I do remember watching us play and we were, in my opinion, terrible. We couldn’t get shots to save our lives.

But 2010 was different. Yes, the results are essentially the same, but here are the differences.

First, we made it out of the group stage. That is a pretty big feat in all honesty. You have to play well for three games against the top teams in the world. Not only that, we won the pool for the first time since 1930!

Second, we did score goals. Of the two goals we scored in 2006, only one was off our foot. The goal we scored against Italy was scored on themselves. In fact, in 2010, we had two goals that were incorrectly disallowed (but didn’t end up factoring into anything). This year, we scored five goals. Not bad in this writer’s opinion.

Third, the country was a part of it. I don’t remember any excitement four years ago. But it’s coming. 2014 could be a banner year for US Men’s Soccer. Dempsey and Donovan will probably be playing in their final World Cup and our younger guys will have four more years of experience.

Fourth, they are starting to believe. You could see it.

Just wait … amazing things are around the corner for this team.

Place Where Dreams Come True

Richard — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:25:53 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

I recently attended the wedding of a coworker. It was my third wedding since becoming an “adult” and I have to say, it was the most unique one yet. That’s not to say that I haven’t loved the other two for their own unique and personal touches, but this wedding was purely unique to the couple.

You see, the bride and the groom are fanatics of The Office. In fact, the groom used and autographed photo and the board-game to propose. So, it was no surprise that when the new married couple arrived at the reception, the band stopped playing and the theme song played over the speakers. The napkins had office quotes on them. It was a perfect night. even Mother Nature got involved with a lightning show over downtown Kansas City.

Even more unique with the Homily at the ceremony itself. It was the first time I’d stepped foot in an LCMS church in nearly a year and it was beautiful. The church even had a pipe organ much like my church where I grew up. But it wasn’t the church or the decorations or the wedding dress that made me smile.

No, it was two things. First of all, weddings are just magical. I may be a guy and all, but to feel the love and excitement between this young couple gives me hope. It gives me hope that the world is going to be okay. It gives me hope that love does in fact always win; and no matter what happens in life, if love is there, nothing else really matters.

The second thing about the ceremony, as I said, was the Homily. The pastor was funny and personal. He referenced their honeymoon, to Disney World.

He said: “When I asked them where they were going, they said, ‘Disney World.’ When I asked why, they said, ‘Because it’s the place where dreams come true.’”

I bet it is. I’ve never been there myself, but it’s no surprise that Disney World is the place all Super Bowl champions go, for they have just achieved a childhood dream. We should all be so lucky.

We should all be so lucky to find love and never let go. We should all be so lucky to be able to laugh, cry and laugh again all in a matter of minutes with the person we love. We should all be so lucky to have our dreams come true. Well, that’s what she said.

It Is Amazing

Richard — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:54:51 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

My journey as a freelancer is about to reach it’s three-year anniversary. And what an amazing journey it has been. The day will probably come and pass just like any other; but then again, it can’t really. I know it is a special day. It is the day when I said, “Enough is enough.” In fact, if you’ve read my book, Anything is Possible, you know how I got started on this journey.

I was on the phone with Nathanael. We were just friends back then. We were just talking and catching up. Then he asked me a question.

“What have you done today to achieve your dreams?”

That was it. Simple. Benign. Nothing too deep. But it hit me. It hit me like the baseball did when I was 12. It hit me like Henry Wang’s forehand did when I was a tennis coach and the ball hit me square on the nose. I had no answer. Well, I had an answer but not one I was okay with.

I started to question my life. Keep in mind, I was nine months out of college and I was questioning my life. A little early for a mid-life crisis, but I was in mine. I was in deep. I started thinking about what I wanted my life to look like. I started to ask questions. In fact, I asked a lot of questions. I still ask a lot of questions.

From the moment Nathanael asked me that question, my path, my vision for my life changed. Forever. I am no where near where I want to be in this life, but I am certainly closer than I was three years ago. I’m closer than I was a year ago. Sure, there have been ups and downs – there is in any great journey. I am sure to have more. I have three speeches scheduled for this month, all within ten days of each other. One of the speeches is a full-day event. My first ever. What a crazy three years it has been.

But it hasn’t always been pretty. I have struggled. I have given poor presentations. I have been off my mark. It happens. It will always happen. But I take pride in the fact I am still learning. I like to know that I still have room to grow. It’s scary to think and a little disheartening to know that I still have room to fall and mistakes to make. I’d like to think those days are over. But so long as I am striving for something, I am going to slip. I’m going to fall. But here is the cool thing: I get to. I choose to. When I was asked that question, I chose to do something about it, instead of wallowing in my discontent.

I had a great conversation a few months ago with a friend I met last year. I had intended for it to be just a quick “Hey, how are you?” kind of a conversation. But it turned into an hour-long conversation about life and dreams. We both opened up about our past struggles and the battles we have wagged. But what he said that night has stuck with me. He said that no matter what has happened in our lives, its about your journey. He said you have to know yourself enough to go on your personal journey.

That’s what I’m doing. I’m going on my personal journey. And only I can do it. It’s mine. All mine. And I intend to live it. Success and failure. It is amazing.

A Sandlot Ball

Richard — Wed, 19 May 2010 14:39:45 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

The sandlot makes a ball get very dirty. But it is that dirtiness, the story only a ball, a used ball can tell. Picking up a used ball from any field in the country, I can tell. I can see the story. Home run. Perhaps. Strikeout. Possibly.ground ball. Fly ball. Line-drive. All possibilities.

Maybe it hit a batter like what happened to me years ago. I tried to turn away, but that pitch, I think it was Jeff Horner pitching, maybe not. But it hit me right in my left elbow as I turned away. That ball has a story.

It flew through the air, probably no more than 60 mph, and even that may be generous, but to me, all of 12 years old, that ball was getting bigger and bigger as it got closer to contact. Contact. That was the gaol. But this particular ball was a freight train headed straight for me. I tried to get out of the way. But is came too fast. Or maybe I was too surprised to get out of the way. I turned, smack. Crack. Not the bat. Me. Elbow. On the ground.

I was 12. My game was over. Benched for the rest of the game. But that ball still has a story. It knows my elbow very intricately now. Probably more than I. Hitting me at 60 mph, it felt bone, skin, tendons and the few muscles I had at that age. It probably crushed a few blood cells too.

But that ball. The feel. Oh the story it holds. Any ball. Every ball. They all tell a story. It’s what makes it great. It’s what makes kids go chasing it … they want to be a part of the story … the pitch … the swing … back … back … back …

Be a Supporter

Richard — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:28:25 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

When you are not the biggest fish in the sea, what is a fish to do? Who do they complain to? “The Fish Size Regulator” must be a busy guy. Mr. Joe Salmon must be busy finding the phone number when he realizes there is a much larger Catfish swimming in a lake in Minnesota.

I am not the most important person to 6 billion people in this world. In fact, I may only be the most important person to just one person. (I love you, Nathanael.) But what happens when you are hired for a job and you think your role is going to be something it turns out not to be as big as you thought it would be?

If you’re Rob Lowe, you quit. Twice. For the record, I love Lowe as an actor. As a team player, he fails miserably.

For four years he was a part of one of the best dramas of the early 21st Century: The West Wing. But after four years of not being the “star,” on a cast full of them, he decided to go become the star of his own show. That show lasted 10 episodes. His current role is of Senator Robert McCallister on ABC’s Brothers and Sisters. But not for long. He is leaving. Why?

He’s not the star he thought he would be. I have a comment for Mr. Lowe: Maybe you are better suited in the supporting role. It appears when you are the lead, the show doesn’t make it. Maybe it is better for you to keep this role.

How many people in this world are CEOs or Chairs of boards or groups or organizations? Most everyone is in a supporting role. We support our co-workers. We support our friends. We support our family. We support our significant others. We are not, I repeat, we are not the most important person is most every other person’s lives. You have to find peace and comfort in knowing that you are a key supporter of almost every other person in your life.

People count on you. They need you. They just don’t need you being the star. They don’t need you being the lead. They are. We are all the leads of our own lives and we don’t need others asking for the lead in ours. Be the lead. Your deserve it. But be careful of being the lead in other lives. They may already have a lead.

Join the Food Revolution

Richard — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 13:06:46 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

Oh, Mister Naked Chef, I think you’re full of crap and should leave our town. You’re going to give us a bad name. I think the chicken nuggets are perfectly fine to serve.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch any of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution (Fridays, 8 p.m. Central, ABC), I highly suggest you do. You should start at the beginning on Hulu. If you care anything for the health of our youth – and your health – you should definitely watch.

When I saw previews for it a month ago, I knew I wanted to be able to watch. I have enjoyed Jamie ever since I saw him on a cooking show years ago, but I also loved the concept of this show. Sadly, I wasn’t able to start watching it until the last week and boy am I glad I did!

The premise is simple: CDC report comes out naming the most unhealthy city in the United States. Oliver convinces the school to let him come and try to reform the cafeteria. No one buys in. Not the kitchen ladies, not the radio station guy and the little support he did receive from the school district was a, “we don’t think you’ll succeed, but we’ll give you a week.”

In an effort to not ruin the show for you (I’ll do that for you in a later column as I’m going to go on my own personal food crusade soon), I will instead share with you my thoughts on food.

First off, I love food. I seriously do. I love Chinese food. I love a good, juicy burger. I love salsa and dips and chips. I love chocolate. I love pasta and chicken and milk and coffee and cookies. Oh, yeah, I love cookies.

Over the last year, I have tried a little bit harder every day to eat healthier. It’s been a challenge living by myself because it takes more effort to cook meals and plan. don’t get me wrong, I don’t eat out a lot, but I do very simple meals without many vegetables. That has started to change. In fact, on a recent trip to the grocery store, I had mangos, zucchini, apples, pears and kiwis, not to mention frozen vegetables for some stir-fry I planned on making. I am very proud of myself, but I have a long way to go.

Thinking about my personal food revolution, I remember a time when my normal meal at dinner was a frozen pizza and a glass of milk. Shoot, I was doing that up until a year ago! But now that’s over. I don’t plan on buying another frozen pizza the rest of my life. No sir. I may still eat some bad food, but my goal is to eat healthy, most of the time. To eat my fruits and vegetables.

This will be a grand challenge, but it is when you’re changing an entire culture. Watching Food Revolution has opened my eyes to how poorly we as a nation eat. And we seem okay with that. But yet, we are one of the most unhealthy nations on the world. This is simply unacceptable.

I will detail later what my Food Revolution will be, but for now, do something for you. Instead of the soda or the frozen pizza, make some pasta instead. Add some asparagus to the side with a big, tall glass of milk. you’ll be glad you did.

Love Always Wins

Richard — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:57:21 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8

Over the last year, over 1,800 committed couples took the ultimate step and declaration of love. They got married.

“But wait a second, Richard! How in the world did only 1,8-000 people get married in the last year?” you might be asking. Well, it’s because those 1,800 were gay and lesbian couples in my adopted state of Iowa. Last April 3, the state supreme court ruled, 7-0 I might add, that discrimination of marriage to men and women only was unconstitutional.

It was a beautiful day.

In November 2008, the same night (then Senator) Obama was elected, California approved Proposition 8, reversing the law allowing gay marriage in that state. I was angry. I was hurt. I was stunned that night.

A mere six months later, as I watched Twitter and Facebook to the news on the court decision, I was nervous. I was scared. I didn’t want to keep seeing love lose. On that day, it didn’t. Love and common sense law won out. Through all the losses before that day and those that have come since (see Maine), I have not cried. But I did on that day. Years of frustration and hurt and segregation came to an end.

It was an honor to say I was an Iowan again.

I know a few people who have either gotten married or are engaged and I couldn’t be more proud and excited for them. Love always wins.

As I wrote last year, “Today, the hope now exists in Des Moines, Iowa. In Cedar Falls, in Dennison, in Decorah, in Estherville, in Mason City, in Keokuk, and everywhere in between. In Iowa, under the law, all love is now equal.”

There are still legal battles to be fought and rights to maintain. But as the saying goes, “Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain.”

There is a Christmas poem that I love. I look forward to it every year. It’s long so I won’t bore you with it here. But it ends, “[...] of all the gifts, love is the best.” It is. And love always wins.

Earn It

Richard — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:51:41 +0000

*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

Oh, Jim Boeheim. What a silly man you are. Especially since you have it all backwards. Just ten days ago, the men’s NCAA basketball bracket was released. The Sunday evening and next Monday always evolves into a huge debate on the seeding and the the teams who were on the bubble. Who was left out and who made it? Who deserved in? Who shouldn’t be there? It happens every year.

I usually don’t complain. Partly because my school is usually in the correct place. We’re a mid-major and aren’t able to have the toughest schedule. This season’s number 9 seed had me angry. The scheduling of mid-majors against each other in the first round made me angry. Then Boeheim’s comment pushed me over the edge.

In the days leading up to Selection Sunday and in the days following, the discussion was not only on the 65 lucky teams, but on the future of the tournament. For those who don’t care or who have been living under a rock, there is serious discussion about expanding the tournament to 96 teams. Seriously. that’s nearly 1/3 of all Division I schools. In this year’s tournament, there were maybe four – and I say maybe – that deserved to be in that didn’t make it. And even they weren’t that deserving.

Jim’s reason is insulting. He said, and I’m not quoting, that expanding the tournament would eliminate those teams that don’t deserve to be there by the time the second round begins. Oh really Jim? Is that how you really feel? Not only does this insult my team (the Northern Iowa Panthers), but it insults every non-power conference team.

It leads to the overriding theme of this column. What if we not only took 33% of every medical school applicant because, well, the bad ones won’t make it to the end. Or, if we only let the most powerful and rich get to medical school. Doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked, or that you’ve followed procedure and built up a great resume, you’re not from one of these six conferences, and even though you’ve proven you can beat us, you don’t deserve to be here.

The problem with this entire situation is that we want everyone to feel like they belong. Oh, you’re a .500 team, so you should definitely be in. It’s just like giving kids a medal just for participating. I’ve been against that from day one. Luckily they didn’t start that practice until I was done with Little League. I’m sorry, if I didn’t win or wasn’t good, I don’t deserve anything but a swift kick in the ass.

All we are developing is a generation of kids who think they are entitled to praise, no matter how bad the effort. They come to expect something just for participating.

In Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture, he writes about how he developed a system for students to score their classmates on various scales of measurement. He then posted the aggregate scores. This is true teaching. This is showing where you rank and what you need to do to be better. It shows what a student needs to do to earn their medal.

That’s what we need to be doing. We need to be tough again. We need to be less worried about feelings and more concerned with true and honest learning.

For the record, the teams that Boeheim thinks “deserve” to be there, well, only two remain in the final 16. (Big East teams that is). What does that say about deserving? Earn it Jim. It will feel much better in the end.