The same applies to life. We are often pulled in so many directions; all at the same time, the horizon is often blurred.

Think about the past. How often do you reflect back and let past mistakes control your current and future choices? Life is full of mistakes. We just have to learn from them and move on. The great thing about the past is that it is past. It’s over. We only have to learn from the past, and keep growing. The problem however is when the past inhibits your ability to make positive choices in the future. People can get so afraid of making the same mistakes, the don’t even realize the current mistake they are making in letting the past control the future.

Experience. Fail. Learn. Grow. Evolve. Be better. And of course, keep your eyes on the horizon.

(flickr photo via piet mustard)

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1. On The Road Again
2. Fix Your Relationship
3. Find a Role Model, Be a Role Model

Richard’s Thoughts…
I’ll go on record right now: I am a terrible poker player. I win a few hands, get excited, bet too much and then lose the house. Of course, I’ve never lost the house, but you get my drift.

Sometimes we get dealt a great hand. Some of us are naturally talented at something. It could be singing, it could be art, it could be sports. But it still takes work. Kenny Chesney and Michelangelo and John Elway didn’t just wake up one day and become superstars. No. They worked their tails off to become great. They saw the cards and played what they were given.

Me? I’ve often written about my running… I’m still doing it. It’s tough (I’ve got two leg injuries right now), but I’m still going strong. My body isn’t built to do long-distance running, but I’m training it to do just that. I’m changing my cards. You can too. We are all dealt cards, but it is how you play them that makes all the difference. Are you all in?

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1. FOCUS: Change! (v2n49)
2. FOCUS: Each Moment! (v2n44)
3. FOCUS: You’re Unique!

How about the last time you flew a kite or rolled around in the grass. Can you remember?

When you were growing up, did your parents allow you to make mistakes? Did they let you strike out? I think each of us has moments as children where we are allowed to fail, and moments where we are saved by those who love us. But I do know that as a kid, I was allowed to live my life.

I remember growing up and playing t-ball and little league. My first year in the minor leagues, the league for kids 12-13 years old, we were terrible. I played for Men’s Garden Club of North Iowa. I think we won two games that year. But then my family went on vacation and we started winning. We made it to the championship game. It went extra innings. But we lost. But we still got second. It was a great accomplishment and the height of my playing days.

The next season would be my last. Most of the guys from the year before were on the team again, which was nice. I enjoyed most of the guys. But we got a new coach. There was my career death sentence. I hated how he killed the “fun” in baseball. I quit the next spring.

From there, I picked up a tennis racquet. I found my love. From that summer, I have been in love. Still am actually. But here is my point: my dad, the life-long baseball fan, allowed me to quit baseball. He allowed me to chart my own course.

For adults, I think we sometimes get into the safe zone. We don’t want to quit playing baseball because it is safe. We don’t know what is on the other side. But what if it is better? What if making the mistake, making the change is the best thing you ever did? Children are allowed to be wrong – so should adults.

(flickr photo via kkseema)

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Recently, I found this awesome image. It shows what goes on behind the scenes with each tweet. Amazing, huh?

But the same goes with life and dreams. There is a whole heap of action, discussion, research, study, planning and more planning before anything sees the light of day. I know this all too well as an author and a speaker. I’m usually hired to speak for 60 minutes, but at least 300 minutes goes into prepping for each client. There is the research and practice and more practice and changes to the outline and then more practicing.

Do you do the same? Do you put in the time before you show your “cover?”

Are the best you can be?

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*Beginning in 2010, I started writing a bi-weekly column, “From Richard’s Oft Cluttered Desk” which appears every other Wednesday.

When you are not the biggest fish in the sea, what is a fish to do? Who do they complain to? “The Fish Size Regulator” must be a busy guy. Mr. Joe Salmon must be busy finding the phone number when he realizes there is a much larger Catfish swimming in a lake in Minnesota.

I am not the most important person to 6 billion people in this world. In fact, I may only be the most important person to just one person. (I love you, Nathanael.) But what happens when you are hired for a job and you think your role is going to be something it turns out not to be as big as you thought it would be?

If you’re Rob Lowe, you quit. Twice. For the record, I love Lowe as an actor. As a team player, he fails miserably.

For four years he was a part of one of the best dramas of the early 21st Century: The West Wing. But after four years of not being the “star,” on a cast full of them, he decided to go become the star of his own show. That show lasted 10 episodes. His current role is of Senator Robert McCallister on ABC’s Brothers and Sisters. But not for long. He is leaving. Why?

He’s not the star he thought he would be. I have a comment for Mr. Lowe: Maybe you are better suited in the supporting role. It appears when you are the lead, the show doesn’t make it. Maybe it is better for you to keep this role.

How many people in this world are CEOs or Chairs of boards or groups or organizations? Most everyone is in a supporting role. We support our co-workers. We support our friends. We support our family. We support our significant others. We are not, I repeat, we are not the most important person is most every other person’s lives. You have to find peace and comfort in knowing that you are a key supporter of almost every other person in your life.

People count on you. They need you. They just don’t need you being the star. They don’t need you being the lead. They are. We are all the leads of our own lives and we don’t need others asking for the lead in ours. Be the lead. Your deserve it. But be careful of being the lead in other lives. They may already have a lead.

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My Biggest Accomplishments:

• I launched my book, Anything is Possible! It’s been great to hear responses from people who have read it and shared it with their friends.
• I had eight blog tour stops for my book launch and so far, I’ve written other articles for Primer Magazine and BackSeatFan.com.
• I have already read four books and I’m into my fifth. Check out my book reviews.
• I’ve already painted two of my goal of four paintings this year. (And I love them both!)
• My running is going great! At the same three months last year, I was averaging 2.88 miles per run, in 2010, I’m averaging 4.1 miles per run.

Where I need work:

• I have a lofty goal for getting my fans to sign up for my RSS feed (so why don’t you help me and sign up!)
• My Focus Your Life e-mail are going to more and more people – but there is always room for more at the table!

Other Random Things:

I’m using a fun site (Daytum) to track a few random things in my life this year.

So I like coffee, sue me!	I’m hoping that as the year goes on, It will be more like a 75-25 split. I’m excited about where this is though.
I also have a goal of reading 12 books this year. It may not sound like a lot, but last year I only read eight.	This looks really bad! But the numbers aren’t high, I promise! I just thought it would be interesting to see what my favorite drinks were.

My Focus for Q2 2010:

• I need to keep reading!
• There are things with my family and my personal life that I need to keep to focus on.
• I am going to start to work on my fiction book.

What about YOU?

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With the release of my book (Anything is Possible) I was able to give thanks to various people for their impact on my life. I received e-mails and texts from people praising my work and my passion. I replied with the same sentiment. I am who I am because of other people’s passions. They drove me to do something with my life. They helped me “find focus,” hence the name of this blog.

I hope now, three years into this journey, I am providing the inspiration to others who need it. I needed it and I was lucky enough to find it. I was lucky to have role models who helped guide me on my way.

Who are your role models? What traits of their do you want to emulate?

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Audiences often teach me something about myself and about my life. I would like to believe it is because I listen to anyone I meet and am always trying to learn. That is a great way to show respect: just listen. Try it the rest of this week.

It is Spring now … so listen to the world around you. Listen to your husband or wife or your significant other. Listen to the birds. Listen and give respect to every person you meet.

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My life has certainly been a journey. This book is the first of a journey I hope to take into the world of authorship. I already have an idea for another non-fiction book and also an idea for a novel as well as a novel already in first draft form. Who knows where this journey will go or if this is the end of the road for this dream. All I know for certain is I’m not going to get in my way. I’ve done it! I had the idea and ran with it and I couldn’t be happier.

Yes, I did want to quit and scrap the whole project at various times. But I kept reminding myself why I got started writing this book in the first place. I wanted to create a product that would be a road-map for people to guide a journey. Each of our journeys is very personal, but all very similar. We all have dreams and it is what we do with our dreams that matters. It is that tiny difference that makes all the difference in our lives.

Three years ago I wasn’t doing anything to go after my dreams. Today it is what I live for.

Ultimately it is up to you. I’m not looking for the glory. It’s all yours. I did this for you. I see unlimited potential in people I meet and I want the best for you.

“What have you done today to achieve your dreams?” Not happy with your answer…? Remember: Anything is Possible.

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Then came the surprise. While Nathanael was visiting over the holidays, a small white-padded envelope arrived. I pulled it out of the mailbox and immediately saw who it was from: my publisher. He asked what it was and I blew off the question and started talking about something else. I wanted to surprise him. (As I mentioned before), Nathanael was one of my editors and designed the cover for the book. He more than anyone helped me through this process.

We got upstairs and he began to unload the groceries and I quietly opened the package. “So, I have a surprise for you,” I said. I turned around and pulled the book out of the package and we both saw it for the first time. Anything is Possible.

He took it from my hands and started flipping through it. I just stood there. I was awestruck. I created a book! Me! Richard Dedor wrote and created that! It’s still hard to believe, but at the same time, I know I have created not only a really cool tool, but I believe a strong resource for people who want to re-take control of their lives.
I am very proud of Anything is Possible and I will keep striving to live it each day. That is only part of my dream. The other half of that is if you decide to read it, it chances your life. That is why I wrote it and poured my heart and soul into the project for over a year. Dreams are meant to be lived and this one is now in living color.

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