The Truth About Stress Management

I have some bad news for you:

What we are told to do to manage stress is all wrong.

For years, we have all been told that it is simple to reduce our stress. We have been told that we can take all our stress, package it up into a nice little ball and throw it away. We have been told to “not stress the small stuff.”

But it’s all wrong.

Here is the cold, hard truth. Stress management is not about the stress; it’s about the stressor. Too often we do not focus enough time on fixing the actual thing causing the stress. This isn’t to minimize the value of meditation, or working out, or doing other things you enjoy to calm your spirit. But those are tools we use to overlook the symptoms of stress.

Here is an example:

You get home every day and are stressed, iritable, and worn out. So, you help the family make dinner, then you go work out to burn off the stress. Then you do it all again the next day. While the working out is a good thing, it’s not solving the stressor. The stressor here is something at work. It could be the job, the company, the boss, anything. But without addressing the actual cause of the stress, nothing you do will make it better.

Another example:

Money is tight and bills are due. You and your spouse know it. And the kids have activities and birthdays to pay for. It happens. We have all been there. So, you fight more. You’re irritable with each other. And you’re short with the kids. That is not good for anyone. The way to deal with the stressor is three-fold: Be honest with the family that money is tight and we need to work together. Find way to reduce spending or postpone spending where possible. Look at ways to increase your income in the short- and long-term.

These are simple examples, but there are tons more. The point is that it is paramount in the “management of your stress” to remember that while working out, meditation, and taking time for your hobbies is great and a must-have for a wonderful life, you still have to manage the stressors in your life.

Take some time today to try to identify some of the actual stressors in your life and how you can reduce or eliminate them.